Has Your Sex Life Suffered During Covid?
With all its stress and uncertainty, this year hasn’t exactly been a banner year for intimacy.
Many of the people I work with in my therapy practice have confessed to me that their sex life has suffered during Covid. In fact, a Kinsey study recently found that 24% of married people reported having less frequent sex than they did before the pandemic. This statistic doesn’t surprise me at all. Right now there are so many factors in couple’s lives that are causing stress – and unfortunately stress generally inhibits our sexual desire. Women report that stress, depression and anxiety lessen their sex drive. Several men have recently confessed to me that they are over eating and/or drinking and because of this they are less confident in their appearance and this has caused a decline in their sex drive.
If you are feeling less than sexy these days, you are not alone! Maybe you miss your old life including your old libido.
Fear not – this all can change. Here’s how:
- Shift your perspective – If you previously had a good sex life, you certainly can have one again. Shift your perspective and be open minded, optimistic, eager and willing.
- Make a plan to put sex on the front burner – Communicate with your partner. I suggest telling him or her that you miss your old sexual connection / energy and you’re eager to get it back.
- Slot time for sex – Don’t get caught up in spontaneity. Making a sex date really works! Be playful with this. Even sending a calendar invite can be fun.
- Learn from the masters – Couples who report having great sex lives engage in some very good habits. They included things like communication, empathy, vulnerability, connection and being present in the moment. They stressed ignoring notions of romantic spontaneity and, instead, embracing deliberateness and making a plan.
Great sex doesn’t just happen. It needs intentionality and a plan.
RACHEL A. SUSSMAN, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, writer and lecturer. She is the founder of Sussman Counseling, a psychotherapy practice based in New York City, specializing in treating couples and individuals with relationship dilemmas. She is the author of THE BREAKUP BIBLE: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce (Random House).
