Couples Clash over Covid
I was recently interviewed by USA TODAY on this topic.
The corona virus has taken a devastating toll, with more than 425,000 Americans dead and infections continuing to mount despite the introduction of vaccines late in 2020. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, men do not take Covid as seriously as women and are less likely to follow safety measures.
I’ve counseled many couples who’ve experienced relationship stress during Covid, including those who don’t see eye-to-eye on the threat. Obviously this puts additional strains on relationships that are already being tested due to the pandemic.
What I’ve witnessed is that someone in the family, usually the woman, is very concerned about Covid, very concerned about catching it, very concerned about the children catching it, and the man has been less so, and that caused terrible rifts between the couples where one person is called controlling, and the other person’s called irresponsible and even dangerous. When it comes to caring for her children, women can become a mama bear.
So how do you handle a partner who may have a different take on safety measures? How can a couple solve this issue and feel good about the decisions they are making?ideo
We don’t always see eye to eye with our partners and that’s perfectly OK and normal. It’s how we handle these inevitable conflicts that can either weaken or strengthen our intimate bonds.
Even in a health crisis, compromise is more productive than conflict.
Some couples will never agree on COVID, which is why rather than trying to get your partner to believe what you believe, it may be more productive to zero in on behavior changes.
Focus on one change at a time. Even a small change could ease some of the tension and create a bit more safety for your family.
RACHEL A. SUSSMAN, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, writer and lecturer. She is the founder of Sussman Counseling, a psychotherapy practice based in New York City, specializing in treating couples and individuals with relationship dilemmas. She is the author of THE BREAKUP BIBLE: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce (Random House).
