How to Stay Connected during a Long Distance Relationship
Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously in case you get your heart broken.
Nobody says it is going to be easy – the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times.
However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship.
I was overjoyed to be interviewed by Cosmo magazine this past summer on the topic of how to keep long distance relationships alive during Covid.
When Covid first hit in Spring of 2020, many couples struggled to be together. These couples were living in different cities, states or countries and many were barred from traveling to see each other due to legalities or quarantine protocol.
These couples were under a great deal of pressure and many initially felt like giving up.
I was being called on from couples across the USA asking this one question…
How can one keep a relationship going strong even with distance as a factor?
While long-distance isn’t exactly ideal, if it’s temporary and there’s a clear end-goal in sight, it doesn’t necessarily have to be an immediate deal breaker either.
Here are some tips for surviving a long distance romance:
- Go into your long distance relationship with goals in mind – Healthy and clear communication with your partner can establish these goals.
- Scheduling is vital – become a calendar-oriented person. Know when you are going to speak to and see each other.
- Don’t expect perfection at every visit – It’s important to realistic goals. Not every day of every visit is going to be great. Someone may have a cold or be experiencing an unusually stressful work week.
- Discuss sex – Some couples do a great job dealing with this aspect of virtual dating. Talk about it and make decisions, guidelines, and rules.
- Be careful with Social Media – Discuss what to post and not to post. Don’t misinterpret or over reach to your partner’s social.
- Do similar things – Try cooking together, watching the same show or reading the same book.
- Stay positive – Long distance relationships can be hard and it’s easy to get down. That’s ok from time to time. Work on staying positive and cheering each other up.
- Is there an end in sight? It’s important that couples discuss when and where they will be permanently together.
Having the hope of being together long term can help you ride out the toughest days of being apart from one another. That little bit of hope can go a long way toward making the one you love seem not quite so far away.
RACHEL A. SUSSMAN, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, writer and lecturer. She is the founder of Sussman Counseling, a psychotherapy practice based in New York City, specializing in treating couples and individuals with relationship dilemmas. She is the author of THE BREAKUP BIBLE: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce (Random House).
